Silly Mistakes

Back when I was between eight and twelve years old, I played on a pee-wee football team.  Those who know me now know how ridiculous that sounds, because I am skinny and kind of a sissy.  I was an even bigger sissy back then, if that’s possible. 

I did survive somehow, obviously, and have learned much from my time running from kids bigger than I was.  No I haven't  I didn’t really learn anything, other than I am much better at baseball.

One thing that I didn’t learn, per se, but still recall, was a phrase my coaches would constantly drill into our impressionable and not yet severely concussed minds during practice: don’t make silly mistakes. 

Silly mistakes will kill a football team.  Not literally, but they will contribute to a loss, which to some football coaches, is worse than actually being killed.

Why am I telling you this?  Because I made an incredibly silly mistake in my last post that may have killed the football team that is this web log.  I omitted an incredible experience that Amanda and I, um, experienced in northern Oregon.  This post will hopefully rectify said silly mistake.

Before we got all the way to the coast of Oregon, we had one planned stop in mind.  You will go on the journey with us, through photographs taken from an excited passenger, to a little slice of heaven on earth.

On a desolate road in the farm country of Hillsboro, Oregon:

The signs began appearing:

One after the other:

Encouraging:

Beckoning:

Instructing:

With terrible spelling:

And incredible artistry:

The anticipation builds:

Until finally:

Success!  We made it to the home of the greatest television stars in the history of television: The Roloffs.  Matt Roloff is, without question, the best anti-hero in recorded time.  Anyone who disagrees with me immediately loses not only my respect, but my attention.  Little People Big World is an absolute tour de force on The Learning Channel. 

There was only one problem.

The farm was closed.

Farts.

Not only was the farm closed to visitors (apparently it’s only open on weekends), but since the Roloffs are such stars, the security on the property was pretty high:

Really guys?  A security gate?  The two biggest fans of your show have driven, literally, from Providence, Rhode Island to catch a glimpse of a hilarious midget pratfall and you lock them out?

Needless to mention, Amanda and I were disappointed.  Very disappointed.  We couldn’t even see the main house on their palatial estate (not to mention the ghost town, the grand canyon replica, Molly’s castle, the very dangerous trebuchet, or anything else) from where we were.

Someday…

Oh, and one final note.  Take a look at that squash on the sign.  How phallic can a vegetable be?